As the time passes by.

I remember at first I was so reluctant to join in this small but hearty family.
I always think that I'll get ignored, no matter what.
As and time pass, I prove myself right.
Maybe I was just being an egoistic person.

For the first few months, I feel like I fitted in, finally.
But I was still afraid that I will get dropped out, someday.
After a few months, things changed.
The feeling of being pushed around, where nobody seemed to accept you, where nobody seemed to care.
Or maybe I was being the one who pushed away other people's care.

But, once again.
As the time passes, hatred and ignorant started to be kept.
What I felt, was the distance had finally started to close in.
I always wonder if it's all my imagination.
Or maybe I was being delusional.

And once again,
As the time passes by,
I felt fun and happiness.
I felt as though I fitted in, again.
As I think back the times where I chose to distant myself,
I realized that it was always my fault.
I was being overprotective to myself.
Mother Teresa once said,

"We have to give until it hurts. We need to give from the resources we would like to keep for ourselves. We need to give to the point of sacrificing. We must give something that we find hard to give up. And there is where we will find a new something we will hold dearly to ourselves."

I really did not intend on believing in this quote.
But when I actually sit down calmly and think,
I realized that someone, no matter who,
Will have to learn how to forgive and forget.
And that is where another might accept your mistakes.

It hurts a lot.
Being ignored and left aside. 
But as what Mother Teresa said.
I guess it's right.
It's life. Some people's life aren't as easy as it seems like.
That's when I learnt that when I was facing problems myself, others are facing their own too.
It's not easy to step into other's shoes and think from their perception.
But I was finally getting a hand on it.

And now, 
I had just look back to all the pictures we took.
And I truly regret, that I haven't had a lot of pictures with them. 
And with this family, 
I stayed for a year.
And when I reminisce back the memories we had,
This wasn't a long year to begin with.
So many activities we had together,
So many times we spent together,
So many laughter we shared together,
So many tears we shed together.

I understand now.
It's not that easy to have such a supporting "family" in anyone's high school life.
And no matter how many times you want to give up,
Thinking about them is enough.

The part where my regrets lay is where I didn't appreciate having a few girls in my life.
Despite having tough times, they were still there.
No matter what, having them in my high school life was still a part of my life.
And a fantastic one it is.
And no matter what arguments we had, I will still remember them.
And no matter what happens in the future, 
They were still my teammates, my classmates, and also my family.